Song Title:"You Always Hurt The One You Love." Really?

This pop standard, written by Allan Robers and music by Doris Fisher has been performed by many recording artists since the Mills Brothers first recorded it in 1944.  Some of the other artists who have released recordings of this song include Fats Domino, Ringo Starr, Michael Buble and Ryan Gosling.  So, if you remember how this tune goes, please sing along with these lyrics.

"You always hurt the one you love,
The one you shouldn't hurt at all.
You always take the sweetest rose,
And crush it till the petals fall.
You always break the kindest heart,
With a hasty word you can't recall.
So, if I broke your heart last night,
It's because I love you most of all."

Wow!  Sure doesn't sound like love to me!  In fact, it sounds a whole bunch like domestic violence.

Now I realize that the recording artists, or even those who wrote the lyrics and music, probably had no intention of glamorizing this "perception" of love, but there you have it!

"Golly gee!  Sorry I crushed your spirit, or your hopes, dreams, goals, skull, ad nauseum.  But baby!  It's just 'cus I love you so darned much!"

Among the groups that comprise "Those People" are the victims of Domestic Violence.  Although this type of violence inflicts wounds, trauma, terror and pain like any other assault or abuse, the difference is this:

It is called Domestic Violence because the perpetrator of the violence is not some random individual who leaped out of the bushes and beat you senseless.  In these situations, the perpetrator is someone you know, love, are in a relationship with, perhaps live with and even have children with.

Domestic violence is often cloaked in myth and shrouded with misconceptions, misinterpretation, and ignorance.  Upon hearing the term, domestic violence, people often conjure up a  gruesome scenario of an abuser, perhaps an uneducated, impoverished, boorish , inebriated man beating his spouse or partner.  Although this particular scene certainly presents one grim snapshot of domestic violence, it does not begin to complete the wide-angle view of the disturbing portrait that is domestic violence.

Copyright:  Jane A. Okasaki, 2011